Willpower

Tattoo to commemorate my weight loss

You may have noticed the title to this blog “Don’t look back you’re not going that way.” I had noticed this saying awhile ago and it really symbolizes the way I have been able to accomplish losing this amount of weight.  I take each day as it comes.  I don’t look back to the ways of yesterday, last week, or years ago.  For myself, I enjoy little reminders of how hard things used to be, but I don’t want let the reasons I used in the past to stand in the way of my future.  Yes, I want to remember where I came from, but I don’t want to be scared to keep going.  I don’t want to feel like the weight is chasing me, closing in on my back, incessantly hanging over me.  I want to live each day as it is.  It’s not an easy thing to do, I am a constant worrier. I’m getting better though, at least I’m not feeding that emotion anymore.   I take care of today by eating healthy foods and keeping with my gym schedule.  On bad days, I just let it be a bad day.  I can’t change what’s in the past.  I can only make today a better day.

Willpower may refer to: Personal character. Self-discipline, training and control of oneself and one’s conduct, usually for personal improvement.  –Wikipedia

I think the above definition could be used for countless situations in life.  Life challenges us to constantly refrain from speaking inappropriately, over indulging and over reacting.  The same can be said with food.  I over indulged in food, because it was there.  Food was made to be eaten. Self control was non existent.  There would be days were I would just concentrate on what was the next meal.  There’s nothing wrong with thinking about your food, planning meals is a definite way to to keep on the right track.  All of my meals are planned before I go to the grocery store.  Right down to ingredients.  It takes me about an hour each week to search for recipes, write it down and go through the sale ads.

I look at my lifestyle as a job.  I set aside time to go to the gym and to make sure things I buy at the grocery for lunch can be made with 15 mins.  I stay at home, I am able to cook things for myself everyday.  Although there have been times where I need to be somewhere and can’t, on these days I pack a sandwich, bag of pretzels and fruit.  Some days if I don’t have lunch planned I cook an extra chicken breast or open a can of tuna for salad toppings the night before.  I always try to think ahead.  My purse always has snack options. Cereal bars, dried fruit, bag of almonds, cheese crackers (small amount of these!) or rice cakes.  If I am out running around and it’s too early for lunch or after lunch I make sure I have something to eat.  I have to do this or temptation to stop and get something is well, tempting!  If I wait too long to eat between meals I tend to grab things that aren’t good because I was so hungry my original snack isn’t enough.

As adults we are constantly thinking about our kids/spouses.  I know that I am the one responsible for preparing all of our meals, therefore, it’s easy for me to plan what we are eating.  It’s always about choices.  Do you have the willpower to say I am getting healthy foods this week instead of hot dogs and frozen pizza? Did I eat hot dogs and frozen pizza?  Sometimes.  But the hot dogs were turkey and the pizza was either pita pizzas or a frozen Lean Cuisine. I’ll admit, that was rare, I don’t particularly care for Lean Cuisine.  But if it’s easy for you to take to work, do it!  If I have time to plan for my family I definitely have time for me. Choice is what the main focus should be.

As a parent I have learned that willpower is a must.  Sometimes I think I have so much willpower for tolerance that at the end of the day it’s all run out.  Let me tell you, teenagers! Nothing will prepare you for it.  Everyone warns you, but you still think it’ll be okay.  Yeah, when they move out!  I don’t have enough left to keep with the routine. So I’d over react and eat out of haste or get frustrated with time and order pizza.  I have been there, since my meals are already planned this happens less often.  Plus, I have dealt with the guilt of eating wrong choices.  All I keep thinking about is the time I put in at the gym, could be undone right now, with this meal. After so many times I  recognized I wasn’t any better off, my problem wasn’t able to be solved by food or time.  It was the person/situation that I needed solved. I need to have self control to deal with the original problem.   Discipline my mind to focus on my reactions.  I teach my children to think before they speak, act and think.  If I am not doing it, they are not learning it.  How can I expect them to apply it if they see me freaking out?

 

 

People that I have talked to tell me they just don’t have the willpower.  I disagree.  You just have to find it.  Pull the energy out of something else.  I found that in the time that I spent complaining about foods or exercising it would have already been done.  Willpower is self-inflicted.  People go to work everyday with it.  Weather they like their job or not they discipline themselves to go.  Few people actually enjoy every aspect of their job.  Put the same spin on eating healthy and getting in to the gym.  Discipline yourself to realize that there are things you’re not going to like about it, but you’ll get paid in feeling good!

Allowing time for yourself after you’ve given time to a job, kids and other demands is well deserved.  I always thought I was being selfish and taking time away from my kids.  I was always the mom that was defined by my kids.  Their activities were my activities.  Some still are, but I need to be me too.  My workout schedule doesn’t really affect them, except in the summer.   I’ve come realize that I’ve been around for almost everything my kids have ever done.  Which is very rewarding.  I wouldn’t change anything today or in the past.  But what I’ve learned is there is sometimes when I don’t need to be there.  They need to be independent or they maybe living in my house forever! Don’t get me wrong I am still there for the most important activities.  I more proud of them now because they are taking control in earning grades, choosing after school activities and socially making their own friends.

Life is adaptable.  It’s all in the self-discipline and figuring out how wiggle schedules around.  Sometimes you have to give in and sacrifice time away from the things you need, but not everyday.  The time that your willpower is tested is when you get right back to it when the activity that took you away is done.  Or go back to eating right after you screw up.

I found that getting my mind frame in the right place helped the most. I have link on my blog of a book I read when I first started this journey.  It was hilarious and kept me in the mind frame that I needed to be in.  Now that I have gone through this journey I have found this woman’s story so close to my own.

One thing I want to say, kind of off the subject.  If you are person who has a weight issue or thinks you have a weight issue, I am not here judging people’s happiness.  This is strictly my thoughts, experiences and journey.  I don’t want to give the impression that everyone needs to lose weight or be healthy. I finally found my happiness with myself.  I am sharing this so people whom feel like I did can realize this is possible.

Have the willpower to find your happiness, in what ever form you need to.